The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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