Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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