onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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