Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He passed out mid-signature
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
