when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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