My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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