I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i think i scared a bird with my dick
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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