YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
