so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
