It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
