im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
