Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
