Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
