What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
