I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
