people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
