so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
