just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
