there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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