Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
