is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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