at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize