So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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