I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
