I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
