Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
