I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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