Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
