Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
