Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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