An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
