If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize