i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
