i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
