Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Drake has all the answers
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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