I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize