i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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