handjob tips. give me some.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
