it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
