I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
