how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
