hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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