I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
