We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Its about making memories worth repressing
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
