So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
