hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
