I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
