i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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