Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
