My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
