Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
