who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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