That's intense
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
