Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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