I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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