we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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