If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
