can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize