he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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