i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
